Carrying a child is truly a wonderful blessing. I always feel the joy and excitement of a new life. But when I am pregnant with a special child, I feel as though I am on a special errand for the Lord. I feel an increase in the Spirit and a desire to learn. It is heaven and I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a Mother.

Of course there is opposition in all things and at times I feel the stress of uncertainty and fear. This pregnancy I worried most about my kids. I had to ask, "How will they cope? They have already lost two brothers, how they keep their faith and innocense when death is so hard?" I was really having a difficult time, feeling discouraged and doubting our decision to have another child.

At the time, I was reading in 3 Nephi when the Savior visits the Nephite people and is quoting Isaiah. In Sunday School we were studying Isaiah, and in our family reading we were in 1 Nephi where Nephi starts quoting Isaiah.

One morning our family read in 1 Nephi 20. Verse 10 says, "For behold, I have refined thee, I have chosen thee in the funace of affliction." The next morning we read chapter 21. Verses 15 and 16 are one of my favorite scripture passages, "For can a woman foget her sucking child?...Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee, O house of Isreal. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands."

I don't pretend to understand all the words of Isaiah, but one thing he says over and over again is that the Lord remembers His covenant people. And I heard the message the Lord was trying to tell me. He was mindful of my children as they prepared to walk through their furnace of affliction. My heart was softened and comforted, and my faith grew.

Over the course of the next few days, my eyes were opened and the Lord showed me the ways He is working in each one of my childrens' lives. I could see the small but significant miracles and blessings He had saved and bestowed on my children, specific to their needs and desires. I was amazed by the seeming coincidences, that once I could see the Lord's hand, they were anything but coincidental.

I know my children will be ok. It won't be easy, but they won't go through this alone. And when Rob and I can't comfort them He will be there encircling them in the arms of His love. I am so grateful for the Atonement, and for the scriptures that teach and testify.