Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Choosing Today

What would you do if you knew you had very little time with one you loved?

I have mentioned Rob's fateful prayer about Jonah having 'other work to do', and I just want to add little something about that. When Rob said that prayer, I could feel that Jonah's time was very short. It may sound strange, but I could feel the next life pushing on him, waiting for him, expecting him. At the same time, I felt peace because it wasn't time yet.

A few days later, I was holding Jonah working at the computer and I had an overwhelming sense of urgency. His time was coming. I thought to myself, "I need to hurry and get all the things done I want to with him before he goes!" And so I starting taking mental inventory of all the things I wanted for Jonah: 1. Name and a blessing-Done. 2. Pictures with the family-Done. 3. Jonah to know he is loved-Done. 4. Memories for our other kids-Done.

As I went through my list I realized that everything I felt was important was already accomplished. I asked myself, "If he dies tomorrow, would I do anything different than I am doing right now?" And surprisingly, the answer was no. So then I was able to relax and just enjoy holding my baby. Perhaps breathing in the details a little deeper. Stroking his hair. Kissing his soft skin. Holding him close. Knowing that his time was coming, and being at peace about it.

If you knew you would die tomorrow, would you do anything different than you are right now? Most of us won't die tomorrow, but when we lay down tonight, today will be gone. Today dies. We don't get it back. How precious is one day? It is as precious as we make it.

So today I will smile more, laugh more, hug my kids extra. I choose today. It could be the best day yet...


  1. I am going to go take a nap so I can be more pleasant and loveable to my children.

  2. I have thought about this so much lately since seeing you guys and since the passing on of my friend Kim. Recently I went to time out for women and got a Hilary Weeks CD. This song on it is If I only had Today. I find myself wanting to listen to it over and over - it's so pretty and I want to always remember what a precious gift each day is. Thanks for helping me see that. You are amazing.

  3. I just love you Behka! I think about this, how precious each day is. That is why, sometimes, nothing gets done in my house. I want to spend my time visiting with my extended family and take in what I can before they are gone. What did they know about my mom?, my dad?, and me? I want to learn what I can to pass on to my family...ahhh, those precious moments that make those precious memories.....love you